Collaborate and Listen

New Address!

2009-03-17T01:27:00.005-06:00

From now on, all postings will be at:

http://tysoncall.wordpress.com/

If that doesn't work, then I have finished my move to:

www.tysoncall.com

Thanks!

Why Twitter Won't Last

2009-03-16T16:08:00.015-06:00

I recently decided to try out the budding webservice Twitter. The idea is basically a social networking tool, with one function: status updates. You may be familiar with Facebook, and their status update function, but what makes Twitter so popular with journalists is that they can use it with their co-workers, while not revealing the photos of their last vacation.

However, although the technorati have adopted Twitter as a communication tool, it will eventually fade into the netherworld of the internets to prance through the clouds with pets.com. Why would I make such a bold claim? A couple of reasons.

1. It's trendy. Just like all trends, it has a shelf life. To try something new that many other people are trying is fun and exciting. However, anything that rapidly comes into popularity, usually falls just as fast. As I used Twitter, I quickly became tired of hearing about the inane details of people's lives who I only know from podcasts, newspapers and TV. The only people I wanted to hear about were my friends, but I have Facebook for that. Which brings me to my next reason:

2. Facebook. They recently removed "is" from their status update template, opening up the functionality of the feature. By removing that one word, they have duplicated nearly all of Twitter's functionality to anyone already on Facebook, which last time I checked is THE ENTIRE EARTH POPULATION. Most people, i.e. "non geeks" don't want to update more than one status at a time. That means that most people who use Facebook, won't get a Twitter account.

3. It is based on the illusion that people want to hear what you have to say. Most likely, if people really want to hear what you have to say, you have some other outlet. You may write for a newspaper or blog, and so you have a readership there, and it is directly proportional to your position in the public eye. There is nothing wrong with having a small mommy blog for your family to see your baby pics, because that is all it is meant to be, small and personal. It doesn't matter if you only have a few readers.

However, there are many people that clamor for followers on Twitter like it means something. David Pogue, Tech writer for the NY Times has a large followship, but it is not because of what he says on Twitter alone. People who follow people just to get others to reciprocate usually end up with a list of people just like them, who don't actually want to read what the people they are following have to say, they just want to be heard, but because of their followship, aren't. That was probably confusing to anyone who hasn't used the service, but we will continue.

4. They aren't making any money. They currently have no revenue. Hopefully you don't have to be told why that is a bad thing. They have plenty of money to survive for now because of venture capitalists, but if they don't figure out how to make money, they will not survive. The problem is, that as soon as they start charging users or adding advertisements, people will leave in droves because of the nature of their users (people who love free things, like every other person in the world), and they would have to survive this.

The funny thing is, that others are profiting off of Twitter. Makers of Twitter desktop clients and iPhone apps are selling their software for a fee that accesses the free service. That must be frustrating!

5. Their service is easily duplicable. If they start charging to use their service, someone else will come along and be the hot new thing. I mean, it is a 140 character micro blogging service! How hard could it be?

Don't get me wrong, Twitter is kind of fun to use, and would be useful for journalists to communicate without getting to personal, but like internet trends of the past, it will flicker then fade, leaving a group of rabid die-hards defending it's honor.

For more reading, head over to Valleywag for an article I found while looking for a picture to include with the post.

Feature Interview

2009-03-16T14:32:00.008-06:00

A special interview with the kid in class who comments more than anyone else, but shouldn't.

TC: Thank you for meeting with me today, I appreciate you taking time away from your classes. What is your major?

Kid: Major?

T: Lets begin. Many times I have sat nearby you in my classes, though you always seem to look different. Sometimes you are a heavyset male with a purple bandana, and other times you are a bewildered, yet opinionated, freshman girl. How do you explain this?

K: I think its probably similar to the story of the trojan horse. I look like a man on top, but have the body of a horse.

T: Those are two different stories, that is completely wrong. You are a centaur? Anyway, I have noticed that you prefer to sit close to the professor, is this to be sure that they can't ignore you?

K: I think I knew someone like that. He led troops across the Potomac in the Revolutionary War.

T: Are you comparing yourself to George Washington? Either way, its not quite relevant. Moving on, how do you feel about constantly annoying your classmates who would rather listen to the teacher than you trying to wrap your head around the material outloud?

K: Four score, and seven years ago...

T: This interview is over.

East of Eden

2009-03-15T13:40:00.006-06:00

I'm not one to claim that every book I read changes my life. I can see what they are saying, and then I choose to either accept or deny the viewpoints of the author. With the case of East of Eden by John Steinbeck, I believe that it presents some valid reasoning. It isn't a short book. In fact the overview of the book would be described as a tri-generational family history, that follows the Trask family, and their moral conflicts dealing with money, life purpose, and jealousy.

As the name implies, there are many biblical references, most of which must be drawn by the reader. The book explores the all great question of why we do the things we do, yet does not come off as being didactic. Some motivations are more worthy than others is an idea that is explored. The book has been on many banned book lists through the years, which pretty much guarantees a good read, because it usually means that things are said which needed to be, but haven't due to our society's (or the one in which the book was first presented) tendency to sweep anything under the rug which may not reflect a positive light upon it.

The characters contrast each other enough that no-matter who you are, you are sure to find a favorite, and cheer them on as they trudge through their entire life, or a large portion due to the length of the book.

A favorite of many people, is the character of Cathy Ames, who has been the subject of much acclaim and criticism due to the strength of her character. You may have heard of Matt Costa, an Indie-Folk artist whose song "Ballad of Miss Kate" is about the character. Don't listen to the song if you don't want to hear a couple of spoilers, however.

One interesting thing about the book, is that many of the characters are actually real people. John Steinbeck began under the premise of it being a family history, though many of the family legends that happened to and around his relatives are included. It is left to the reader to decipher which is true, and which is embellishment.

Your Mom is a Recession

2009-02-04T15:30:00.005-07:00

I won't pretend to be an economist. In fact, I misspelled economist just now when I tried to type it (as well as "misspelled, isn't that ironic?). But this whole economic downturn thing has got me thinking.

Whenever we talk about our situation you can't help but think of the last time that something like this happened, the 1930's. There were a couple of factors that contributed to what happened then, some different from now, but I would like to make a comparison. Why do we have history class? So we can learn about what happened before that wasn't good, and not repeat it, right? Well lets see if we can't draw some similarities.

In the 1930's in California, people were starving to death. At the same time, there were hundreds of thousands of acres of fruit fields, bearing fruit and dropping it to the ground to rot. How did this happen? Money wasn't moving.

Lets back up a little bit, to the dustbowl. The dustbowl was the result of farmers in the midwest growing cotton to the point that the nutrients were stripped from the soil, making it harder to grow other things on it. That, combined with lack of rain, turned the soil very dry. When the wind came it carried the soil into the air with whatever good soil was left, causing the farmer's crops to be far too little to produce enough money to pay off their loans, and they were evicted. With the promise of work in California, many of them packed up and migrated across the country to California.

Once they arrived there was a different situation than promised. Coniving land owners had sent the word of far more work than there was, in order to drop the price of labor because of an influx of potential workers. I know this is a lot to take in, but bear with me.

These people had no money, because they were out of work. As a result, no-one was buying fruit and other crops. That resulted in the crops not being profitable enough for farmers to pay workers to pick it, so it dropped from the vine to rot on the ground, all while people starved in squalorly little camps made of rubbish called Hoovervilles. This is a lot like what is happening now.

The money isn't moving. As soon as journalists started reporting that there 'might be a recession' I knew it was on. Just like life imitates art, life will imitate what we see on the news. Six months ago, people slowed their buying of Microsoft products subliminally because of threat of economic downturn. Microsoft starts losing money by paying their employees to develop products nobody is buying. They fire those employees (we are at that point now) and as a result those employees don't have money to buy groceries, pretty soon the grocers lose money, the farmers lose money, the banks forclose on those farms, stop giving loans altogether because no one is making payments padded with interest... you get the picture. What got the country out of the Great Depression was WWII, because it forced us to do something. We had to get in factories, swap rubber and steel to make things, rather than sit in our houses and hoard the money we didn't have. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want a war to bring us out of this.

The country is a freeway, and some cars have passed someone sitting on the side of the road fixing a flat tire and everybody is hitting their brakes and no-one knows why. It is going farther and farther back, and some people are even running into each other creating more problems.

I know that there are other factors, such as the shady business practices by corporations etc, but those things would make this post even longer, and I'm sure you have things to do, like sit on your bed so that no-one finds the money you have hidden under the mattress.

Media Shmedia

2009-01-26T15:49:00.009-07:00

The media is an interesting thing. As I grew up I was constantly told in church to watch out for the deadly grasp of popular movies, TV and magazines. And although those played a primary role in kindling my obsession with Ryan Seacrest and making me go on the "Hollywood diet" multiple times, this is not the media I am referring to. The "respectable" news outlets are the ones that I would like to discuss, as I believe they have just as much of a detrimental effect on our society. CNN, MSNBC, and FOX news are all guilty of their own brand of spin, sensationalism and useless fodder for the general public.

Before I begin, I would like to say that I understand the reason for this. They are businesses. They need to sell advertising to live, and to sell ad space they have to get viewers. In order to get viewers, they need to get the scoop on everyone else, and in order to do this, sometimes they have to make up a story. This is what bothers me.

An example I would like to use is that of the Killer bees around the turn of the century. I remember seeing news reports of the spread of Africanized killer bees, and different news outlets dubbing their segments "Killer Bee attack 99'. Mothers were keeping their children indoors, and any kind of bee was generally feared well beyond the range of the bees. Fast forward to today, where the bees have stopped their march north, and become generally less aggressive due to genetic dilution of their species because of interbreeding with more docile american bees. Good thing we worried.

Another example is that of the "Fist bump heard 'round the world" when then Presidential Candidate Barack Obama and his wife Michelle bumped fists at a rally, resulting in news outlets to investigate whether it was a "terrorist fist jab" or not. Wow.

For the past couple of months, CNN has been selling T-shirts with their most sensational headlines emblazoned on them. I am sure they are out there, the late twenty-something, former keg busting dolts who are buying CNN shirts with headlines like "jiggle-gut men try out for cheerleader" because they are still selling them.

So what is the problem with this? It's all entertainment right? Not everyone knows that. Old ladies and naive every-men turn on CNN expecting genuine news, but instead get a story about how the Harry Potter books are rising the level of satan worship among children. Shock value is what these stories posses. It makes people tell their friends, and often pushes actual social issues out of the way. I can't tell you how many times I have gone home for Sunday dinner to find my family discussing something in the news that was complete rubbish.

Go ahead and pay attention to Brangelina if that is as much as your brain can handle, if that media truly has an effect on you, you are probably a lost cause. But the media that we supposedly trust, the respectable news outlets, are the ones that we really need to monitor for error. Life often imitates art, and I think the same could be said for life following the lead of what the news agencies report to be going on.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-01-18T23:09:00.007-07:00

Rarely do I see a flick that I want to see again the second it is over. When I got home from watching this movie, I decided to read a book, but decided not to because then it would ruin the "aftertaste" of the movie I had just seen.

Why You Need To See It
The writing, cinematography, special effects and overall feel are fantastic. I went into this movie knowing that I would probably like it, but that expectation was far surpassed. It is no secret that the film industry is running out of ideas. If I see one more "I'm from the ghetto, you're rich and we are going to dance together" trailer, I just might chew off my own face.

Brad Pitt, although often on the covers of magazines I wouldn't wipe my nose with, has definitely won me over. Having starred in films like Fight Club and the Ocean's series he has established himself as more than just an incredibly disfigured face... that poor, poor, ugly soul...

This movie is not one that you need to see in the theatres, but if you do wait, make sure that when you watch it, someone isn't making food in the background or talking. You want to really watch it.

It might make you cry, but I didn't. I don't say that in a manly sort of way, but to establish that it isn't that kind of film. Some movies try their hardest to wrench your heart out at a specific moment, making you burst forth with obligatory tears, showing that you aren't a heartless meathead. This isn't one of those, but if you cry I will forgive you, as it is understandable.

The Beta Meister!

2009-01-10T17:09:00.005-07:00

So there is a trend that has been pointed out by others prior to me, and I wanted to throw in my two cents.

I installed the Windows 7 beta on my HP mini, and am lovin' it (except the more whiteboy way: "loving it"). It is a beta version, but seems quite good so far. I have one driver issue that has yet to be resolved (Windows OS with a driver problem? Well I never... kidding!) But overall it has a beautiful UI and they truly did improve upon the taskbar that was one of the things that drove me into Steve Job's turtlenecked arms in the first place. The preview function is awesome.

But this is all besides the point, which is not aimed directly at Microsoft, but beta culture in general. For those not familiar, the beta culture is where software developers release their product initially in beta (or as a preliminary release) so that basically regular 'joe warcrafts' do the testing and report the bugs. This is all well and good, except, an OS? Seriously? This is what I think happened:

Vista was a failure. Whether it truly deserved to be is another discussion (I don't think it deserved what punishment it got). But I think that Ballmer's boys are tricking us a little. After using this OS, it seems pretty stable. So I think that they are basically releasing Windows 7 now, though under the Beta guise so that if everyone complains they can fix it before the official release? Very, very smart, though tricky. I don't blame them, I just think that is what they are doing.

Do you think this could be possible?

I am a Hypocrite

2009-01-01T15:19:00.008-07:00

I would like to take this time to say that I am going to eat my words. A couple of months ago, I wrote a post entitled "Why I hate PCs" or something like that. Well to say that I have grown tired of that debate is an understatement. They all have their good points. After using all of them, I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy using OSX as my primary OS. However, on my HP Mini 1000 I am running windows, and enjoy using it as well. There are things that I don't like about it, but there are things I don't like about OSX as well.

The reason that I wrote that post is that I was extremely frustrated with my little Eee PC which lacked the processor and storage to run Windows adequately. I read an article that pointed out that we have a good set of options. Windows is closed software on open hardware. Macs have closed software on closed hardware (virtualization doesn't count), and Linux is open software on open hardware. We have all the options, and you can pick the one that works for you.

Although I don't disagree with a lively discussion about the merits of each, and the neat things you can do with each, it upsets me when I see any blind rage towards any of them (usually on a tech blog). I realize that we are just talking about computer operating systems, but the universal issue of blind discrimination is applicable to much larger issues.

As I am writing this, I am on my little HP Mini 1000, and loving it. I am using Firefox with a bunch of add-ons (yes I ditched Chrome, thereby completing my Firefox experiment) and enjoying it. However, I have yet to find a music management program that I like better than iTunes, and wish that I had iCal on here, but it is definately great.

I can't believe you said that

2008-12-26T03:14:00.006-07:00

Not really, I can believe you said that, and I don't care.

Something that has been on my mind recently is how easily offended everyone is these days. Some people make a hobby out of it, by playing the side of the underdog and being offended just because it seems like someone should be. For example, we just finished Christmas. Kwanzaa and Hanukkah aren't over yet, but we all have to go back to work. Why is that the post office is opening back up, but my store clerk won't say merry Christmas to me? Why should I get offended if the predominately celebrated holiday in this country is mentioned publicly? If someone said Happy Hanukkah to me I wouldn't mind, because it is representative of general well wishing, and honestly these greetings don't mean that much anyways. Most of them are just generic, and said out of habit.

I am not arguing that we should completely ignore anything that isn't the majority, I am just saying that everyone needs to get off the eggshells they are stepping on and just walk around. I will say a catholic prayer if a catholic wants me to, someone can acknowledge my race or gender if they feel so inclined, and I will tell you if I like girls or boys. The last time I checked, individuality was something that our country claims it supports.

The interesting thing is that usually the group that is "getting picked on" isn't even the one that is complaining. It is people who feel that they need to stand up for the underdog and defend them against wrongdoing. This makes it so that there is no possible outcome, as the complainers never feel appeased as they never actually had stake in the issue to begin with. They are looking for something to complain about.

The Art, the Passion, the Ninja.

2008-12-18T19:14:00.036-07:00

Here are a couple reasons why Ninja are the greatest.

Stealth- Sure, pirates are cool, but you usually smell them long before you get shot by their pistol or skewered with their sword. If a Ninja kills you, you think that there might be a slight breeze when all of the sudden all 4 of your limbs are simultaneously severed from your body with flying stars.

Concealed Identity- What good is an assassin if they can be tracked down? I'm sure that mobsters get their houses egged all the time because they kill people, but I know one thing for sure, Ninjas don't. That reminds me of my next point:

They don't sleep- And if they do for some reason, their nunchucks are continually spinning so that if someone (another Ninja) tries to attack them, the attackers kneecaps fly across the room.

Silence- If Ninja were to talk about all the people they killed, they would have to assassinate you. This would be start a deadly pattern where the entire world would be smitten with a plague of unstoppable, totally awesome ninjas. This would no doubt be excellent, but you wouldn't be alive to enjoy it.

Dress- All black. Ninja travel alone and in packs, but you can never tell because people usually mistake them for darkness. In fact, when you go out to your car at night, there is a 96% chance that you are outnumbered by Ninja within your direct proximity or "kill zone".

Weapon Mastery- When a Ninja is born they are given a

weapon that they will use throughout the rest of their first year of life. They are expected to master it. On their first birthday, they are thrust into training by having a constant stream of samurai come against them for them to kill for the next 17 years. After that point their killing is done for honor rather than training, though the number of victims does not diminish.

Speed- In the 0.12 seconds it took you to read the word "speed", a ninja broke into your house, evaluated whether you need to die based on your good deeds, and either killed or spared you. If you are still reading this, you may want check to see if your jugular vien is intact.

I hope that has been educational. Deadly, educational.

PS I'm sorry you don't have a Ninja house Derek.

The Digital Revolution

2008-12-14T13:55:00.007-07:00

Some news from the UK piqued my interest recently, MINI is dropping CD changer preparation from their cars due to the fact that only 50 cars of the 50,000 cars produced last year actually had a CD changer installed. Why is this? The fact that you can just as easily have your MP3 player play through your car as you can have a CD deck installed, and most new cars come with AUX jacks pre-installed. The thought of having to physically change a CD every time I want to stop listening to the same 12 songs seems archaic and dangerous. Lets be honest, no-one pulls over every time they want to change a CD. Hopefully you at least do it at a red light, but either way, reaching for a booklet and searching for your disk of choice is not the best thing to do in a vehicle. Due to the shuffle feature of most MP3 players, or the 'Genius' playlist maker on the newer iPods, you don't ever have to change the song, and if you want a specific song, it takes but 5 seconds to get to it. But what can you do if your car doesn't have an AUX input already? Here are a couple ways you can join the party:

Normal CD deck with and AUX Input
I found one for twenty bucks, and there are numerous others that will allow you to play your iPod through your car's speakers. Though you will have to charge the player with your cigarette lighter jack, this is an easy solution that is $20 and up.

In Dash iPod Dock
Will allow you to place your iPod into your dash like you would a CD, and control it from the face of the player. Very convenient, though you will pay for that convenience (as always).

FM Transmitter
Use one of these if you don't enjoy music at all. They are around $30 dollars which is more than the deck I found with an AUX input and gives you the clarity of a beautiful sunset through a screen door. Yes, your music is there, but it is one dimensional. You have to find a truly dead channel to use it on, and even if you do, when you are next to a bus you will get interference from their radio (communication radio, that is). In short, DON'T DO IT.

Tape Adapter
My knowledge on these is very limited, so this will be short. I am not sure of the quality of the signal with these, though it is for sure better than an FM transmitter. I know it isn't digital quality because you are going through the magnetic receivers used for cassette tapes, a technology that was invented in the 60's.

There are many factors that go into how your music sounds including your speakers, amp, connection, and how compressed your digital music is. There are many people that give sound systems a bad name (i.e. those monkeys who try to get as much bass as possible to rattle their car to bits), but true audio fidelity can enrich your audio experience and allow you to hear the music the way it was truly meant to sound.

Facebook Groups

2008-12-09T18:38:00.009-07:00

So you don't like the fact that they are getting rid of your favorite TV show: Teenage Mutant Blossom Rangers, and you want to do everything you can to prevent it. What can you, a twenty-something college student with no money do? Start a Facebook group!

They have an amazing success rate. So far they have successfully:

-Elected Various individuals President in 2008, despite their only being one position.

-Prevented the 'new' Facebook layout.

-Made Pluto a planet again.

-Cured Cancer

-Stopped all Prejudice and Bigotry

So why not start a group?! They have an amazing degree of functionality in the world. Say for instance that I am CEO of a large corporation that thinks its cool to dump waste into your mouth, the only way I might reconsider is if 75,000 college kids join a group on a social networking site. THAT, my friends, is how it works.

Join my group People of the world curing everything and fixing a lot of stuff because we are awesome.

Thank you.

A Computer in Every Pocket?

2008-12-07T01:14:00.031-07:00

In January of 2007, Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple, Inc. got on stage at the yearly “Macworld” event for his keynote address. These events are looked forward to with great anticipation as often something new and groundbreaking is introduced. The prior year Jobs had introduced the Macbook Pro, a small lightweight laptop that had amazing power for its size and mobility. After the cheers died down, and under the expectation to be entertained (usually reserved for rockstars) bearing down on him from the crowd, he introduced the iPhone.

Americans have a love affair that is immediately apparent the moment you enter any public place. The second you do so you will notice the resulting odd behavior that does not seem to be natural to the human species.

What looks at first like a muscle spasm, or twitch, will eventually reveal itself as something completely inorganic. People constantly lifting their hands up to the side of their heads and holding them for varying lengths of time. An outsider to our world would not understand the reason for this behavior, though anyone who has lived in any semi-urban area sometime during the past fifteen years will be completely savvy of what these people are doing. They are using cell phones. Mobile devices. Call them what you will, but there is no denying that these little antennae-equipped pieces of plastic and metal have wedged their way into our social fabric.

Why do we love our phones so much? There are many different possible answers to this question, and these could vary depending on whom you ask. I would like to cover many of these reasons, but also talk about why we will love them. Yes, as if we do not already feel inseparably connected enough, there is more to come. As mobile phones and devices become more and more easy to use, cheaper and widely available, they will continue to forge their place in our modern tech-infused society. The future of computing is mobile. We will be able to take our main computers with us wherever we go. I would like to explain how phones have wedged their way into our lives, and why that is not such a bad thing. Also, I will explain why they will continue to become advanced and how.

So what does the future have in store? Today you can buy a cell phone for next to nothing. One of the first cell phones, the DynaTAC, was the size of a brick and cost $3,500. This was in 1983, when phones of this kind weighed sixteen ounces. Cell phones today weigh an average of just three ounces and are considerably cheaper. In fact, many phones come “free” with activation of a contract (usually for a minimum of two years) because of the subsidization of the price by the carrier. This means that the service provider, such as T-Mobile, will pay for some of the price of the phone to get it into the customer’s hands because they need to pay them in order to use it.

In the past couple of years, a new kind of phone has become prevalent. The smartphone, as they have come to be called, has made its mark and is here to stay. The term smartphone applies to any mobile device that does a variety of tasks in addition to making calls. These usually include sending, composing, and receiving emails, calendaring and other tasks. One company, Research in Motion, has introduced a product called the Blackberry, whose name has become ubiquitous with the variety. Corporations have adopted these as a way to keep their employees connected at all times (and possibly working at all times too).

Businessmen are not the only people who have fallen for their phones. Teens and parents alike have both enjoyed the surge of cheaper phones on the market. Unlike the past, parents are now able to contact their teens (and sometimes even young children) at a moments notice, keeping them on a sort of digital leash. This is something that most teens welcome, however, as it allows them to contact their friends with the same frequency through calls and primarily through text messaging.

Have you ever forgotten your phone? If you are like most Americans, this can bring an incredibly inconvenient and isolating feeling. Many questions go through your head such as: “Is someone trying to contact me? Will they think that something happened to me?” This is multiplied by the fact that we have all but gotten rid of all pay phones and asking to use a phone could be eliminated as an option since we might not know the number we would like to call, as it is in our address book. . . in our phone. There are many who argue the attachment that we have to our phones is not healthy. What could be wrong with using them too much?

Some argue that kids today are losing the ability to communicate because of email and text messaging. These forms of communication that are somewhat detached, without a doubt, do make it easier to say some things you wouldn’t normally say in person, allowing people to become dependant on them for communicating those kind of things. For instance, it is much easier to text “We’re through” to a girlfriend or boyfriend than to meet them face to face and talk about it. And this could take away these essential social interactions that h

elp build communications skills.

Although our children’s communication skills are being degraded, we need to realize that the same thing is happening to adults with email. Snide remarks and forwarded private messages are wreaking havoc at times. We cannot ignore this though; we need to deal with it as a society. As a natural progression, people will subconsciously adopt social norms and develop skills and new ways of combating the negative effects of these technologies, which have far greater advantages. People probably said the same things about the telephone when it was invented, but we must not step backward, but forward. This technology is here to stay, and as a result we may have to change our way of thinking.

Giving children cell phones can also potentially lead to big bills. With online downloads, picture messaging, text messaging and, of course, calls all coming with a price tag (especially if set limits are exceeded), it is quite a risk to equip a child with less than perfect judgment with a weapon of mass impoverishment!

There are things to combat this, however, such as online parental controls that are now emerging in the market. “Firefly Mobile, a Chicago company that makes handsets for children, offers simple, kid-friendly handsets with narrow capabilities. A new phone to be offered in October called the glowPhone does not come with a regular keypad. Instead, it has speed-dial keys for mom and dad and an emergency 911 panic key. The company says the phone, which costs $49.99, is appropriate for kids ages 5-8” (Searcey). As people of all ages get these devices, innovations in the market will alleviate any concerns that parents have of giving them to their children. After all, what is so much different about your needs to be connected from a child’s? If anything, the dangers more associated to children, such as abduction, and their reliance on adults, should vindicate their need for a phone equal to that of an adult.

We call them “phones” but that term is becoming somewhat outdated with all of the things that they can do. Smartphones are becoming more prevalent as well, but now we are advancing even further. What do you use your computer for? For most people, the answer might be work, communication, and entertainment. Many people often find themselves in line som

ewhere wishing that that the time they were spending could be utilized some other way. The reason that we have technology is to make life easier and allow for more leisure time, so if they were able to complete some of that work they had to do while waiting in line at the DMV, wouldn’t that allow them to spend time with their kids when they got home rather than finishing that work? This is the idea behind mobile devices doing more than just making calls.

The introduction of the iPhone brought us into a new age of mobile computing. Not long after it was introduced, Apple added the “App Store” to the device. The App store is a online marketplace for applications to be sold or given away that have been developed by people just like you and me, or by corporations and gamemakers such as Namco, maker of the popular title “Pac-Man.” Using a phone one can browse applications that entertain, organize and do pretty much anything imaginable. For instance, if someone has a problem remembering where they have parked, the application “G-Park” will use the phone’s built in GPS to direct them to their car using a map. If they are visiting another country, there are a variety of apps that have phrases in other languages that can be read or spoken by the application to help them get around. If someone needs to know a phone number or address to a restaurant, they can look it up, and the phone will even direct them there using the built in GPS. The possibilities are endless because of its open source nature. Open source means that anyone can add to or fix the coding of applications. If someone wanted to make an application that has a picture of their likeness dancing back and forth, they could (though it might not likely be a hit with others).

But Apple is not the only corporation to play this game (Ewing, 67). Business Week author Stephen Wildstrom, in analyzing the market, said, "In the 15 months since it introduced the iPhone, Apple has radically changed our expectations for mobile phones. But the rest of the industry isn't standing still. We're likely to see a fresh round of innovation as T-Mobile rolls out the first handset based on Google's Android operating system. And Research In Motion is fiercely defending its mobile e-mail turf with very good new products. Of the two, outsider Google faces the tougher challenge. But based on a preliminary look at the T-Mobile G1, announced on Sept. 23, launching in the U.S. and Europe in late October, I'd say it has a shot" (75).

So what else is being offered? As mentioned before, Research in Motion (RIM) has begun to challenge Apple and their iPhone for the number one spot. Introducing the “Storm,” a touchscreen device to be part of the Blackberry line, RIM hopes to take back the market that newcomer Apple took away. In a review of the handset, Edward Baig said, “I briefly got my hands on the large, high-resolution touch display device recently and came away impressed. The Storm's touch-screen ‘clicks’ when you gently press it, promising an experience that is somewhat like a BlackBerry with a physical keyboard. As with the iPhone, you can orient the screen in portrait or landscape position” (Baig 5). It seems the comparison to Apple is mandatory, as they have set the standard. RIM also plans to roll out and App store of its own, though dates for release have not yet been divulged.

Google, of search engine, Maps, and email provider fame (as well as countless others), has joined the party with their new Android operating system (OS). An OS is the software that runs on a device. For instance, Windows Vista is an OS, as is “OSX” by Apple. It is what one sees when they turn their computer or phone on. What makes Google’s Android OS so special is that it is completely open source, meaning that there are as few restrictions as possible. Some have complained that Apple is too controlling of what applications make it into the App store, so Android is seen as an alternative, providing implementation of whatever people can dream up. As opposed to Apple’s iPhone, Android is not a piece of hardware, but the software that runs on devices made by other makers. At the time of this article, there is only one phone available running Android-HTC’s “dream.”

Why wouldn’t we want to convert our computing experience into a more mobile form? John Friedman, an information systems professional, stated, "Gaps in information security could threaten the explosive growth of mobile computing. Recent losses and thefts of laptops containing confidential employee and customer data have proved extremely costly and embarrassing to leading companies and government agencies. Profit-motivated hacks and social engineering attacks have begun to target enterprise employees as avenues into the corporate dat

a center. And since hackers and cyber-criminals gravitate toward the largest targets of opportunity, the rapid expansion of mobile computing will inevitably draw more attention to vulnerable mobile systems in the future" (165).

Data loss can be extremely serious business. Since mobile phones are carried around everywhere their owner goes, having sensitive data can be risky. Mobile phones are also and easier target since they are smaller and easier to lose. Imagine if customer information were kept on a phone such as credit card and social security numbers, and it was left in a taxicab. Imagine if that information were for a large, fortune 500 company with millions of names and numbers. The results could be catastrophic.

Makers of these devices are well aware of the risks and are already ahead of the curve, providing solutions to these problems. In an article for Information Week, Alexander Wolfe mentions that “Apple. . . supports two-factor authentication and the ability to remotely wipe the devices of data should they be lost or stolen” (28). What this means is that even if one of these devices is lost, the IT supervisor can trigger the phone to completely erase all of the data contained on it wherever it may be, kind of like Mission Impossible’s self destructing tapes.

There is also potential for people working too much. With the ability to take their work with them at all times to an even greater degree than ever before, people may be unable to escape the demands of the office even when they are on vacation. This could have an adverse affect on people’s ability to draw the line between their personal and occupational responsibilities. Employers may soon believe “If someone has the ability to work while on the go, why shouldn’t they?” In fact Microsoft has equipped some busses with their Office Suite (Word, Excel, etc) in China. Who knows if this is indicative of where we are going!

I believe that as society progresses, however, we will adapt. It is my opinion that people are getting better at silencing their ringers before a movie starts, though they were poor at remembering years ago. Even if it turns out that we never do find that perfect line between personal time and doing business, we may find a way to bill that time to the company even if it is in the midst of our vacation. Humans in general will speak up if they disagree with something, and I don’t believe this is an exception. I believe that technology will, in fact, benefit us rather than harm us.

Business people who are constantly travelling for their work are sometimes called “road warriors” because travelling can be tiresome and sometimes frustrating. Some road warriors would like to lighten their load. Steve Rubel, in predicting our digital future mentioned, "Too often mobile is an afterthought rather than a focal point. Some executives I know leave their laptops at home when traveling on business since their smart-phones carry the load. In 10 years this will be the norm, as mobile devices, powered by cloud computing, wirelessly connect to keyboards, mice and monitors and offer as rich an experience as today's computers do. This trend toward one device that does it all will be a catalyst for mobile marketing” (18).

Cloud computing is when all of your data is kept on a computer connected to the Internet, but accessible through other devices enabling you too keep massive amounts of data at your fingertips. This way you have potentially unlimited storage space on any device!

Having more advanced mobile devices will allow us to complete remedial tasks faster. If we look at the personal computer industry, we can see examples of this. Many people now work from home completely or part-time due to advances such as the Internet and computers. In the past, if you wanted to plan a night out, you had to look in the paper for what movies were playing, call and buy a ticket, look up the restaurant, and call for a reservation. Now, with smartphones, one can buy a ticket for the movie wanted through the device's web browser, then call the restaurant by looking it up in “Google Maps,” all while walking out the door on the way to your car.

Technology is here to help us in our lives. If we adopt it and learn how to use it, it can be a blessing. However if we avoid it and resist it, it can annoy us as others implement it in their lives resulting in us having to begrudgingly adopt it ourselves. “[There are] five different groups responsible for how new gadgets trickle through society: innovators, early adopters, early majority, late majority and, last and least, laggards” (Bigge 59). The “laggards” are the people who unwillingly use computers in their lives because of others requesting to email something to them, rather than the fact that email is free and instant. In society we need people who dream big and push the limits. Although we are fine with plugging in our computers in order to power them, what if you never had to? Although making a grocery list is not that hard, what if fridges ordered groceries for their owners? Both of these things, as well as many more, are already possible, though not perfected (Strohmeyer 98). These ideas of tomorrow will be indispensable in the future.

If we avoided new technology as a society, we would still be lighting our houses with candles. Although some new technology seems frivolous, as mentioned before, I’m sure that people thought that way about many other technologies such as radio and air conditioning in the beginning.

Works Cited

Baig, Edward. "Could Storm Threaten iPhone?" USA Today 08 Oct 2008: 05 B.

Bigge, Ryan. "Low Tech Chic." Maclean's 1 Aug 2008: 59-59.

Ewing, Jack. "Nokia's Bid to Rule the Mobile Web." Business Week 13 Oct, 2008: 67- 72.

Friedman, John. "Protecting Data on Mobile Devices: A Taxonomy of Security Threats to Mobile Computing and Review of Applicable Defenses." Information Knowledge Systems Management Vol. 7 2008: 159-180.

Rubel, Steve. "For the Future of Digital, Get Your Head in the Cloud." Advertising Age 25 Aug 2008: 18-18.

Searcey, Dionne. "Keeping Junior on a Wireless Leash." Wall Street Journal - Eastern Edition 250.54 (04 Sep. 2007): D1-D2. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. 9 Nov. 2008 .

Segan, Sascha. "Smartphone Central." PC Magazine 27.13 (Dec. 2008): 89-94. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. UVU Library, Orem, UT. 24 Nov. 2008 .

Strohmeyer, Robert. "Your PC in 2008 and Beyond. PC World 25.11 (Nov. 2007): 98-108. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. UVU Library, Orem, UT.

Wildstrom, Stephen. "Nipping at iPhone's Heels." Business Week 6 Oct, 2008: 75-76.

Wolfe, Alexander. "Your Next Computer." Information Week 6 Oct, 2008: 26-33.

Pure Ecstacy

2008-12-01T08:33:00.005-07:00

I have at last appeased a dream of mine that I once had. I woke in a cold sweat, knowing that one day my dream, the ultimate dream, would one day come true. It is this day that my dream has been fulfilled. Gather round young children, and witness glory, and the impossible.

I give you Bruce Lee v. Chuck Norris

Ah the Memories

2008-11-26T19:02:00.022-07:00

I was flipping through the channels last night and came across a little gem called Home

Alone 2: Lost in New York. Now, I know that the franchise went downhill afterwards,

but I remember the excitement I had, and the desire to see that movie that swelled inside

after receiving my little Hardee's box cut out that formed into a Limo with Kevin's head

poking out. One thing that caught my eye was the Talkboy, the recording device he used that

was part of the main story which eventually was released to the public from Tiger

Electronics. All it does is record your voice onto a tape at different speeds, but it

provided hours of entertainment! I have compiled a couple of other things from the

90's that you may have forgotten about, and probably loved.

Super Soakers

I remember my 5th birthday I got one of these bad boys, and immediately filled up

the tiny tank, and started pumping, and pumping, and pumping... It took approximately

20 pumps for about 3 seconds of streaming water, but oh the joy that ensued

for the person holding the water gun. My buddy, Jeremy Smith had not yet received

a water gun of his own, which was unfortunate for him and his pursuit of dry

clothes.

Street Fighter II

Ayuuuuukiiin! If you know what that word means, then you likely spent a good portion

of your youth punching buttons in a frenzical manner, intently watching your health bar

as it lowered slowly. I believe I received a good amount of my geographical education

from the game, learning that large monsters came from the Caribbean, and all russians

dress in military garb with killer boots, often getting kicked in the face by nimble

chinese women. Street Fighter: 100% better than the movie of the same name.

Power Rangers

The best one was Jason, of course. Though I remember feeling torn that my favorite

character wore red-a girl color- around while fighting the putty patrol. Rita Repulsa

never decided to make the bad guys big before the end of the episode. In fact every

episode followed the exact same formula.

-Characters are hanging out at school or local... restaurant or whatever that place was.

-Characters face some moral situation often facing teens.

-Facing that dilemma is delayed due to a monster running around causing trouble.

-The characters fight the putty patrol in their normal clothes.

-They morph into their suits to fight the bad guy.

-The bad guy gets big.

-They call their zords, make their megazord, and then a guy in a boxy robot suit fights

the monster in the same suit as before, standing amongst miniature buildings.

-The characters finally face the moral dilemma (drugs) by not doing it/doing it/or

humiliating the bullies that tried to get them to do it.

-The End

All in all this is the wonder that was Power Rangers, and I still get a weird feeling of

giddiness everytime I see those spandex suits obviously imported from Japan.

Trapper Keepers

I tried to get one of these when I started this school this year, but apparently they

stopped selling them when I was in about 4th grade. Apparently they ran out of

poorly rendered 3D images and perforated purple plastic. This means that I had to

find another place to keep my sticky stretch hand from the quarter machine and a

different pad of paper to doodle Daffy Duck on.

Mighty Max

Have you ever found yourself wishing that you had a portable action hero and a

portable scenario based setup in which to play with his likeness? Well you are in

luck because we solved that need years ago. This one is pretty obscure and you

may not have participated in this trend, but it was the male equivalent of Polly

Pocket, which was the same idea though infinitely more lame (in the mind of a

young boy).

The 90's were a great time to be a kid. There were a thousand trends to fall into,

and a thousand ways to spend your time in addition to awesome video games. I

can't think of a decade I would have rather spent my youth in, besides possibly

the 1800's when I could have had a bowie knife and gun of my own at 7.

Proud to Represent

2008-11-25T04:10:00.016-07:00

Here we have a MINI Cooper who had a run in with a Chevy Tahoe. Since

the MINI is completely superior to the Tahoe in every way, it decided to

rub it in by kicking the crap out of it too. Although I don't support

violence, I stick by the MINI's decision.

These pictures were taken by the firemen who arrived on the scene. They

were so amazed that they took pics with their cell phones.

Here is a photo I used to show people when I worked at MINI who didn't

believe that MINI's are safe. If you notice the personal area is still intact,

thus preserving life.

PENGUIN TO SUE KILLER WHALE OVER NEAR FATAL ENCOUNTER

2008-11-24T09:54:00.017-07:00

SOUTH POLE- Killer whale Greg Hansen as been served a subpoena by the Fourth District Court of the South Pole this week relating to a matter involving him and a small Gentoo Penguin in the waters off of the Ronne Ice Shelf in the Weddell Sea.

Sources say that the Alfred Peterson, the Plaintiff was swimming happily looking for food when he was suddenly and deliberately attacked.

"I was looking for some krill or maybe some fish to eat, and all of the sudden I was running for my life. It was pretty surreal, I gotta say."

Although reports of this nature have increased as of late, the case of the small aquatic bird is likely dependent upon how the jury feels about an amateur video that captured the event.

Judge Poseidon, God of the Sea, is set to reign over the hearing. Despite last year's scandal involving mermaids he was re-elected and retains his seat for another term.

A Little Nostalgia

2008-11-24T08:50:00.021-07:00

I made this in Photoshop in my continuing endeavor to

waste time with the program. Since that is my only

goal, I would say that I have been very productive

lately. See kids, set you sights low, so you always

succeed.

Those Crazy Cats

2008-11-24T00:09:00.021-07:00

YouTube, what is it good for? Ask 95% of the population and

they will tell you funny cat videos. Okay maybe not, but they

should! For some reason, cats, with their sharp little eyes

and silent bewildered looks seem to find themselves in front

of cameras much more often then dramatic gophers, and

with good reason! At the suggestion of my lovely wife, I

have compiled a number of these cat celebrities in no

particular order. If you have any you feel I missed, add

them in the comment section!

Cat Jumps and Misses

This poor little guy didn't know that paper is not sturdy enough

to stand on, even for a cat. I do believe, however, that his owner

probably had a part in this little kitty's fate.

Roomba Driver

I can't describe the feeling that I have while watching this little

guy calmly pilot the Roomba vacuum in small circles. Although

he isn't actually controlling it, I wish that I didn't know. Drive

on little Roomba kitty, drive on!

Cat Sitting Like a Human

Although the original didn't have the german ballad playing, after

a little soul searching I decided that I like it and it adds to the

vid, so there you go. The joy that this cat brings me every time

I encounter his laid back personality tastes something like skittles

mixed with butter.

Cat Jumps Into Wall

Yes, I know the title to the video is completely misleading, but

despite that fact I felt that it was in your best interest to

partake in this feline's demise. Yes, the cat died.

Scared you. I have no idea.

Ninja Cat

This cat has definitely got skills. I'm sure he ate his owner that

night while he was sleeping, which is awesome.

A Montage to Take Us Out...

If this didn't make you smile, you're lame.

TIME to Look at Pictures

2008-11-21T20:27:00.007-07:00

Google, creator of all things, have recently added another aspect to their image search: a TIME image database. You can look through some of the amazing photographs they have published throughout the years.

http://images.google.com/hosted/life

I Have Seen the Light

2008-11-19T23:45:00.007-07:00

On November 19th, Microsoft upgraded their Xbox 360 user interface to include an incredibly confusing new menu that incorporates many more ads and stupid avatars that nobody wanted... but that's beside my point.

NETFLIX. They added Netflix as well. For those of you who don't know, Netflix is a subscription based movie delivery service. Traditionally it has been used to deliver movies to your house through your mailbox (which I always have thought was a stupid idea), but have since added streaming capability. However, this capability was limited to PC's, and since my only PC has a 7-inch screen, I never subscribed. Recently though, they added Mac compatibility, and streaming to the new Xbox 360 interface. They also offer a free 14 day subscription to try it out. I immediately jumped on this, even though I have been planning to subscribe as soon as it was on Xbox.

I'm already hooked. So far tonight I have watched Ben Stein's "Expelled", a portion of a Warren Miller film, and now I am watching "Planet B-Boy" a documentary about breakdancing. Interesting yes, but I would never have walked out of a Blockbuster with any film that has "B-Boy" in the title. But since it is available at a moments notice, and I can turn it off at anytime with no waste, I'm there!

So tonight as I have gone about my business, rather than having the news on or some reruns, I have learned about the intellectual brick wall that proponents of Intelligent Design have been facing, what the pow pow was like in Whistler last winter, and now all about the athletic as well as artistic side of breaking.

Stay tuned for what's likely to be a very intense rant about the new interface, including how Microsoft copied the Wii, tricked us into more ads, and can't make a decent interface to save Ballmer's sweaty pits.

Fond of blonde bond and beyond.

2008-11-15T21:53:00.015-07:00

This the battle that was going on in my head until the most current Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. This movie takes the cake, eats the whole thing, and then lies to everyone about where it went. It is hands down, shoes-untied, falling off a building better than other Bonds in the past. Don't get me wrong, I love all the Bonds, but this one was so very well done that it makes me question my love for Brosnan.

However, the video game of the same name is quite the opposite. I had high expectations, and maybe that was my first mistake since it is a movie game. Movie games tend to be kind of like the smelly kid in class who hasn't yet discovered deodorant, people stay away but they don't know why.

Supposedly it uses the same game engine as Call of Duty, a little known game that has something to do with Duties and them being called, but I don't see it. The controls felt twitchy and weird. There is feature that involves using anything and everything for cover. What this usually means is that you will spend the entire game with your gun poked around a corner plugging an endless string of baddies that for some reason have wedged their way into the story.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that they have to add more warm bodies for you to shoot, but when they forgo letting you drive the Astin Martin and make you shoot about 20 henchmen in a sewer (which don't even slightly fit into the story line) it starts to upset.

One thing that was INCREDIBLY AWESOME, was that they included a new version of the facility map from GoldenEye that is equally awesome. I'm sure they probably have some sort of paintball mode, but they didn't keep my attention long enough to find out.

What I expected, was Call of Duty for with tuxedos instead of camouflage. What I got was Goldeneye's playablility in 2008, which though classic, isn't needed now.

Be My Escape

2008-11-14T14:35:00.002-07:00

I recently discovered a song that everyone in the world probably knows about, but it is acoustic this time around (again, you probably already knew that) but I don't care. Usually I have steered clear from Relient K since hearing their early stuff, but just like most bands, they have matured (and apparently knew how to play the piano the whole time).

Their song "Be My Escape" was quite the hit when it was released and even made it onto the impressively long-lived compilation of sugary hooks and heavy beats known as the "Now" CD hit mixes. I believe they are on the 210th one...

Well if you need a good echo-romantic acoustic anthem filled with easy metaphors and sweeping melodies, this is for you. We all need that at times don't we? Oh, you don't? Well go... be tough somewhere.

U.S GOVT. REVEALS NASA TO BE GIANT, MONEY-EATING SLUG

2008-11-12T17:40:00.028-07:00

LANGLEY, VA - Officials for NASA made an announcement today, amidst growing economic tension and questions concerning where Government funds have been spent, that NASA is merely the name for a giant slug that sustains itself on crisp $100 bills.

"We wanted to set the record straight" said Chief Engineer Bill Rooney, "we have received some reports that people believe we are responsible for space exploration."

Experts say that despite the reality TV show Star Trek having chronicled the adventures of the USS Enterprise and its crew for the past few decades, people still don't understand where their tax dollars are going. This is the troubling news which prompted the announcement today.

"Our biggest priority right now is maintaining the life of the vicious slug-monster that currently resides beneath the White House in a dungeon called Guantanamo Bay II. Second to that is providing slick stainless steel writing instruments for the consumer market" says Ryan Williams, NASA Administrator of Money Hefting.

Citizens of this country have also been quick to forget the many other things their billions and billions of tax money has brought them, say the spokespeople for the organization. "The sheer amount of polymers and fabrics alone (including material now used for mattresses) is vindication of the incredibly bloated budget that NASA now retains.

"Times have been tough lately though. We have had less time to invent products for infomercials as the monster is sleeping less lately due to hunger pains. It really is a tough time for everyone, including the horrible, horrible beast that consumes most of our budget." says Mr. Williams.

"We would love to explore space with expensive rockets, contributing to society with useful things like colorful pictures of galaxies, but it isn't possible right now with the cutbacks."

NASA failed to comment as to why they retain the name: The National Aeronautics and Space Administration, as it tends to be quite misleading in some people's opinion.

Boycott Utah? Yeah... Right...

2008-11-10T09:11:00.009-07:00

What they are about

This past Tuesday, we had the opportunity to vote on a variety of things. California of course, voted on the infamous Prop. 8 which defined marriage as a union between a man and a woman. It passed with approximately 52%, which is cutting it pretty close.

As a result of this, many supporters of the gay rights movement and others are attempting to rally a "Boycott of Utah". What does this mean? Utah brings in about 6 billion dollars annually in tourism. Utah doesn't have many other industries as nothing is really produced here to be considered on this scale. Michigan makes cars, Idaho makes potatoes, and Utah, well we have pretty rocks. Many business owners depend on tourism to keep them afloat. The Sundance film festival is a world renowned event, which brings many people (and their money) to the state each year.

Why boycott Utah? The theory is that since Utah is about 60% LDS, and the LDS church contributed millions of dollars and man hours to supporting proposition 8, boycotting Utah would send a message to the church, who is headquartered in Salt Lake City.

Why they are wrong

One angle that could potentially be successful is if everyone put a chokehold on Utah's tourism industry, it might sway those suffering to petition to punish the LDS church by removing their tax exempt status. This is a very round-about way of doing it, but is the angle that they would like you to subscribe to.

However...

The people who would suffer from this boycott, are likely the main group of people in Utah who didn't support Prop. 8. Those of the artistic community and tourism industry are part of a demographic that is known for being more liberal and open minded than their rural Utah counterparts. For instance, does a chicken farmer in rural Utah care about prop 8 besides making sure that it passes? No. He probably doesn't even know anyone it would effect. Someone who has roots in other states and is part of the film industry is more likely to know people it would directly effect, and have a more educated opinion on the topic.

This is also supported by the fact the SLC is only 40% LDS, despite the rest of the states percentages being much higher.

In Conclusion

Those who the boycott would effect, are actually the people who likely sympathize with those who disagree on the result of the vote in California.

Not to mention...

IT WAS CALIFORNIA WHO VOTED ON 8, NOT UTAH.

The True Meaning of Halloween

2008-10-31T10:50:00.001-06:00

In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?

Hypothermic Love

2008-10-25T02:11:00.005-06:00

Slowly but surely, it is coming. Like the end of the episode while watching the Office, you don't want it to arrive, but it always does. Winter happens every year and there is nothing we can do to stop it. I used to like winter. When I was heavy into snowboarding (most of my K-12 education) winter was looked forward to. But ever since I got the MINI, and now the scoot especially, winter means one thing; a lack of traction. Icy roads are annoying.

I don't mind the cold so much. As you all know, I lived in Alaska for awhile. Ever since then Utah's coldest still feels like t-shirt weather. The fact that your vehicle could slam into another at any moment with no fault of your own is what really gets me.

I've continued to ride my scooter in the cold because it is fun. I don't mind that it makes your hands stay in a claw shape after you arrive at your destination. I feel that it is a kind of tough love that my scooter shows me. I get to have a fun, zippy ride, and the scooter gets to keep its oil rushing through its veins. It's win-win.

Let's veto winter. If all of us continue to wear shorts and flip flops, I think nature should get the idea.

Go Buzz yourself

2008-10-22T16:59:00.005-06:00

I have to admit something. I have been keeping something to myself, and not sharing it. Although I will say that it hasn't crossed my mind to share it, so here goes.

Buzz Out Loud.

I don't know if any of you like podcasts, specifically geek themed ones, but here is a gem. Think "smart-Gizmodo" meets talk show. Hosts Molly Wood, Jason Howell and Tom Merritt regularly discuss products and news that are breaking on the tech front. They record Mon-Fri so you know you are always going to get fresh stuff. Their sense of humor is quite original, and definitely a breath of fresh air.

One of the things that I like about the podcast is that they discuss legal issues as well as how the government agencies are involved in how the tech environment evolves.

You can find it on cnet, as well as iTunes.

Customer Service? More like... not customer service! Customer... Sucky!

2008-10-22T15:34:00.006-06:00

Did you know that every single person that works for Microsoft is from India? Okay not really, but they outsource their "customer service" there. I recently had a small problem activating Windows, and had to be thrust into the pit of death that is technical support.

For those of you who don't know, I have to run windows on a virtual machine in my Mac so that I can have Internet Explorer because whoever made my online math course program decided to make it incompatible with anything good. I had to reinstall windows on my computer because I failed to back up my virtual machine from my old computer, and was just finishing up when I ran into a snag.

"The activation key you have provided cannot be used because it has (been used too many times)."

No problem right? After all, if someones computer breaks, that doesn't mean you have to buy windows all over again right? You just call them, and they unlock whatever, and it works again.

WRONG.

You have to call the support number a total of about 10 times because you will get transferred to dead links and the automated system will not have the answer you need. You try desperately to contact an actual human being, and when you do, they just bounce you around departments like a human ping pong ball.

So went my experience. I literally spent an hour and a half on the phone, and never got an ounce of help. I usually don't get angry, but I did. Even when they gave me the supervisor, he was unable to comprehend that I may not want to be transferred right back to the dept. that transferred me there.

I know this is two anti-microsoft rants in a row, but the only time that I have computer problems is when I dip my foot in the cesspool of Windows.

Oh, and what was their answer to why it wasn't working?

"It shouldn't be displaying that message."

Why I can't stand PCs.

2008-10-01T10:18:00.000-06:00

WARNING: Do not read if you have a love affair with the status quo. This argument is not well-r0unded, unbiased or fair.

First off, there is one argument to many of the points I am going to present: "You don't know what you are doing. If you did, you would like it." That may be true sometimes, but when a system is inherently unintuitive, it has no excuse. On that point...

Filing System- Something you will often hear windows users complaining about is where their hard drive space went. Good luck, the filing system of windows is equal to an octopus that has 8 limbs growing out of every 8 limbs out of every 8 limbs times 20.

Status Bar- Is that what they are called? I am talking about how when your processor is completing a process it shows a little green bar that fills up to show you where you are in the process--and its useless. Who knows how many times it will fill up. It may fill up 8 times and say 5 minutes remaining, only to start filling up all over again and change to 9 minutes... shoot me...

Customization- 1000's of possibilities, means thousands of possibilities to break. Why is it there are so many places that fix PCs, and only 4 stores in all of Salt Lake and Utah Valley to take care of 10% of the area computer market? I like tinkering with computers, but I haven't been able to since I got my MacBook because... it is always working smoothly.

No One to Answer your Queries- With a Mac, if it isn't working, you go to the Genius bar and they fix it AS YOU WAIT most of the time, and show you what went wrong (likely gross user error, as they usually run smoothly like I just mentioned).

They Aren't as Cheap as You Think- My Information Systems class had a challenge to find the best deal on a 1.8 gh, 160GB computer with other things, and Apple came in 3rd, with a free printer, and it was 2.4 gh instead.

Spyware/Virus- Do I even have to mention this? For those who don't know, Macs don't get them. They were also Y2K compatible from day 1 for what its worth.

Shelf Life- When I bought my HP last July, it was worth 1/2 as much 3 months later. Natalies Mac is still worth 3/4 its original value, and it is 2 1/2 years old.

Steve Ballmer-Is an idiot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvsboPUjrGc

Irony- Just now I was trying to embed that video, but it kept saying that I don't have flash EVEN THOUGH I JUST INSTALLED IT..twice. I hope that is the video that I wanted, because this PC I'm working on right now won't let me watch it.

Design- Most look as if they were fashioned by Grog, a prehistoric man using a chisel and stone.

I didn't even mention any of the good things about macs, but if anyone disagrees with any of these, comment! I would love it if someone were able to make my little Eee PC actually worth its salt in the computing world.

If you liked last nights "The Office" then read this.

2008-09-26T14:55:00.001-06:00

This is a blatant rebuttal to Chad's post, because I thought that maybe some of you might have liked the new episode. Here is why I liked it.

-All of the sub-plots. One of the advantages of a mature show is that you can get to know a character so well that you know how they will react to a given situation. When an attractive woman walks in the Office and it shows Kevin just looking at her, it makes you laugh because you know he would give his right arm just to sit next to her. However, this can also be bad because at this point you can no longer get a laugh just by having them do the same things over and over. So, the writers put our well developed characters into new situations.

For instance, the Ryan-Kelly debacle just gets funnier and funnier. Their awkward blooming relationship, Ryan shunning her as he rose to the top, and now Kelly fake kissing in front of him now is something I have never seen in any other show before. (I love the development of Ryan "the temp" into what he has become. His character has been a roller coaster of hilarity.

-Jim and Pam. Sure they squeezed every last bit they could out of the relationship, and made us wait the whole summer to find out how it would end, but good on them for doing it in the first episode! I agree that it would be upsetting if the new art school kid interferes with Jim and Pam that would be a little too soap opera-ish. I am glad its official, and the gas station proposal definitely took me by surprise.

-I love continually finding out more and more about the characters. For instance, when we found out that Stanley used to "fight the power" with other afro-clad young men, it was oh-so-fitting and quite subtle, but funny.

-I like the new characters. Holly is a good sidekick to Michael, and although I forgot about her over the summer, I am glad she is back. Technically, Andy is still a new character, though doesn't it seem as if he is. Ronny the new receptionist (that is now gone) is like one of us, an outsider, looking in to the crazy world that is Dunder Mifflin Paper Co.

I am glad that The Office is back in my life. I have had a small void without it that needed to be filled. I just have one thing to say about all of this and that is:

Bears eat beets. Bears... Beets... Battlestar Galactica.

Bungie Teaser Trailer

2008-09-26T09:42:00.000-06:00

What does Bungie have in store for us to follow up their glorious Halo Trilogy? I don't know.

But this gives us a sneak peak at a smidgen... of a portion... of what it might be like.

PS It has been a whole year since Halo 3 was released, isn't that crazy?

What in the name of Zeus is a meme?

2008-09-24T21:38:00.000-06:00

You know exactly what a "meme" is, but you may not know it. I am pretty geeky--you know this already. However, I didn't know what this word meant until recently. There are different meanings, but am talking about Internet memes. You may have seen the sneezing panda, the Star-Wars kid, the Numa Numa dance or Miss Teen South Carolina sharing her vast amounts of knowledge and philosophy with the world on National TV. All of these, are memes.

A meme is a digital file, video, photo, saying, or cultural reference that is passed on to others via the Internet. Chuck Norris jokes have spread and caught on in the last couple of years due to people sharing them with each other over the Internet.

The term was coined originally dealing with evolutionary traits and social trends. Clothing, songs and beliefs are all a part of this definition.

If you have ever heard of a video that "everyone has seen" and all of your friends are quoting it and talking about it, it can be pretty annoying. Well, now is your chance to do a review. Here is a timeline that contains most of the memes that have been popular since the conception of the Internet. If you zoom in, or click a certain area, it will show more from that time period. I am warning you now however, you could spend forever watching all the videos, and reading all of the posts and links contained.

Enjoy!

PROVOPHENIA!

2008-09-14T11:11:00.001-06:00

I recently had the opportunity to partake in one of the few events that truly define a lifetime. Many souls gathered to pay homage to the Gods of Lambretta and Piaggio. There were victories, failures, wipeouts, and failed spark plugs. I am talking, of course, about the yearly Provophenia scooter rally! This year, in respect for the Olympics being held in China, and the amount of crappy, $800 dollar scooters with plastic engines flooding the market, we held the Chinese scooter Olympics. We had chinese food, custom fortune cookies with Engrish fortunes, and events such as the piston throw, and wheel discus. We even had a torch, which I will cover later.

First off however, here are some testimonials about the event:

"We have a great riding a scooter. Everybody is happy about the injury and the not having."

"First you have oil, then not explode for dying."

As you can tell, everyone who was involved had a wonderful time. Here is a rundown of what we did. On Friday night we all gathered for a ride down Provo canyon, and up through Alpine loop. We had around 20 scooters, all with their own distinct personalities. From "Julia," the army green Stella with an Ultra-Mobile laptop mounted to her handlebars, or Lees whale and soup colored Vespa.
We had about as good of weather as we could have expected from September. Clear, but a little chilly. The ride went without at hitch for the most part, though I heard that someone fell around a bend, but I never heard who or how. As we came out of the canyon, we headed through Alpine and went on our way back home. We stopped at JCW's restaurant for some food first. The place was packed, and that was before we got there! So needless to say, when a giant scooter gang showed up hungry, the employees were less than thrilled. On the way back, we didn't stay together as a group as much, and Natalie and I were with just a couple of Scooter Lounge employees on their modded scoots. It was great, coming back from a 50's style diner with a couple of growly scoots, blasting through the small towns in the darkness, I felt as if I were part of a gang of greasers who happened to have chosen Italy to manufacture their hogs.

The next day was the beginning of the Olympic portion. We all met at the Scooter Lounge to begin the day. First we washed our scooters, to prepare us for the beauty contest where awards such as "most likely to break in two" and "best/worst accessory" were given out. Then we had a meal of Chinese take-out provided by the Lounge. Custom fortune cookies were provided with Engrish fortunes containing gems like "Drink and ride scooter naked for syphilis in thigh junction." Truly inspiring. At that time we departed. A giant gaggle of scooters zipping down state street gets looks to say the least. We ended up traveling through Springville, and then shooting west to go through some farm pecked landscape, and finally to ride right next to Utah lake with orchards on our other side. It was amazing.

As we arrived at our pre-designated spot, the torch was carried in a noble fashion, to its final resting place, a "sport-s#!* 150cc" as the lounge likes to call it, Chinese scooter. It burned as many other chinese scooters have done before unintentionally.
At this time, we began the events. The wheel/discus throw was a favorite, as the bigger guys in the 150cc class hurled their 10" scooter tires across the desert. We were supposed to have a ghost riding competition, where we were to see how far we could make a crappy chinese scooter drive after we hopped off, but we ended up just wrecking them. We did a little bit of freestyle maneuvers, but ended up crashing them into one another and enjoying the carnage as their brothers-in-parts burned in the background. After gift cards were rewarded, we cleaned up and began the trek back. We took the long way however and went through Salem, and Payson. We stopped at the Hare Krishna festival at the Krishna Temple. There we saw Indian women singing in very high voices, and chanted along with drums and other instruments which I don't know their names "Hare Hare rama rama Hare Krishna Rama rama" for what seemed like forever. As an interesting turn of events, one Matthew Showalter was spotted and greeted at the event, apparently there for a school project. We then hopped on our scooters for the ride back . Boo got some shots of us using his old school high-8 video camera, which clicks as every individual frame is captured on the 3min 20s reel of film. Dave got a bee in his helmet, and got stung and as he took it off it fell and bounced down the road. As a whole, it was a highly successful rally. Fun was had with blue smoke, white-wall tires and red-handed scooter enthusiasts cruising around Utah county, sorta up to no good.

If you would like to view the rest of the photos from this excellent adventure, go here.

Fun with Sticky Notes

2008-09-11T14:42:00.000-06:00

Do U no wat Im saying?

2008-09-07T16:32:00.000-06:00

Text talk, txt, txtspk, txtk, or texting language. That is what you have seen your little brother, sister, or possibly even your boss using in text messages. What you may or may not have seen, is one of these people, or someone else in your life, use that in an email. Maybe you have even seen someone you know use it somewhere else. One thing remains the same throughout all of these possibilities however:

IT HAS TO STOP.

I will not sit by and watch as one generation completely ruins what all of our english teachers have tried to instill in us. They have taken us by the hand, lead us down the path of grammatical enlightenment. They have ruled with an iron fist, blasting away those who demean lady English. And now, with the swiftness of Ninja who is wearing split toed boots, the next generation is imploding the our language, just because their thumbs cannot move fast enough.

Here are some examples of the abbreviations, and word shortening that goes on nowadays:

-Sorry becomes sry, "soz", or "sori"

-Talk to you later becomes ttyl

-Thanks becomes thanx, thx, or fnx

-Tomorrow becomes tom, 2moz, 2moro, 2mrw or 2mara

What would Mr. Presley think? Okay, maybe thats a bad example. But I for one will not stand for it. I think its fine if little kids use it in their text messages. What I don't want to see is mainstream adoption in our culture, and it becoming necessary for adults to learn these abhorrent stylings to survive.

Wakeskating in SLC

2008-08-30T12:40:00.000-06:00

Here is a video from an Oakley video shoot where they were able to use the Gallivan Center for Wakeskating. They used the skating rink, which has water about 18 inches deep.

Du nu nu nu eBay!

2008-08-26T17:26:00.000-06:00

Got Money that is burning a hole in your pocket? Are you a geek that has a hopeless obsession with (A)Comic Books (B) 80's Movies and anything that repels women? Have I got the purchase for you!

As of 5:30PM the Batmobile from the original Keaton BATMAN movie is on sale on eBay! Last listed at $110,000 USD it can be yours. However, you will have to sign a contract with Warner Bros. when you purchase it, possibly stating you won't put it in the next High School Musical?

School Schmool.

2008-08-26T14:00:00.000-06:00

As school begins again, I have had to get things in order for this coming semester. Parking passes, bills, and pre-reqs are all part of the grand parade that is college. It is the kind of parade that doesn't care if you fall off the float. It is a lumbering giant, moving at a steady pace that never stops. Some people are able to run far ahead of the parade and get pictures, while others fall underneath the tassels and streamers to be squashed beneath its hidden wheels.

I feel I am of the 2nd variety this time around. In the attempt to meet pre-assessment requirements I have failed and get to go through the jumbled bureaucracy that is UVU.

I understand that sometimes bureaucracy is need to get things done orderly, but others it steps on the head of those it is supposed to help. I give the example the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). I recently had to visit the Salt Lake DMV in order to get a motorcycle endorsement for my driver's license. What should have been a simple affair, turned into a multiple hour torture session. My experience started with coming to the door only to find a line going out of it. As I got in the line, I checked my bag to make sure that I had everything I needed such as ID, license etc. As I got to the end of the line, which was approximately 20 minutes long, the employee handed me a paper, told me to fill it out, and go through the line again! What?! Why weren't the papers next to the line, so that I could fill it out as I am waiting? Why wasn't I given a number at that time, rather than waiting again, only to show the man my filled out paper, in order to receive a number to wait again?

I watched as everyone who came in waited in line so that they could get a paper, only to wait again to get a number, to wait again in a larger waiting area (where at least you have a chair.) This whole process, mind you, is to HELP PEOPLE get driver's licenses. Yet the DMV has become synonymous with bad customer service. The employees are government employed, and don't care how long you wait or how much you suffer.

So this brings me back to my point. How much of our life is spent in line? Waiting for things just because "thats the way it is". I think too much of it. How much of our lives are we just trying to meet requirements imposed by agencies and people that, when all is said and done, only have authority over us because we have delegated it to them?

I am definitely seeing this.

2008-08-26T12:47:00.000-06:00

Awe. Some.

2008-08-20T13:13:00.000-06:00

Some Peoples Time...

2008-08-16T23:43:00.000-06:00

Aygo Crazy?

2008-08-16T18:13:00.000-06:00

For all of you car enthusiasts out there, I wanted to show you a little gem that I have run into. I don't know why this little car has grabbed a hold of me, but I think it is pretty neat.

The Toyota Aygo is a small car that has been produced for the European market for about 3 years. Well, this year at the British International Auto Show in London, Toyota introduced the Aygo Crazy. The name being influenced by what it sounds like "i-go" is meant to represent freedom and mobility. Well, the "crazy" comes from the fact that this version has had about 3 times the horse-power thrown under the... well, trunk and it is now turbo-charged.

Aygo Crazy has a rear mounted 1.8 litre VVTi engine from the Toyota MR2 and Celica, fitted with a Toyota Motorsport turbocharger. They claim it has 197 BHP.

I think that the reason I think this car is so cool, is because it is small, cheaper, yet still performance oriented. The original Aygo is actually just a little consumer directed hatch, hardly enough to cause a rise out of any car enthusiast. However, just as other companies have done many times before, Toyota has released a tuner version of one of their vehicles. However, instead of merely badging it differently and giving it a different interior, they have completely given it a facelift.

I guess I see this as a fun little car, good for buzzing around town above the speed limit, but not one that I would ever consider buying above 25 years old. There are many other hatches that I believe are much better looking, specifically by Audi.

Check out the video below for a quick summary, or this link here for a track test and more in-depth driving.

Like a Taco, My Opinion is Supreme

2008-08-11T16:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, maybe mine isn't. But that seems to be the general opinion of most people on the Internet these days. If you would like a depressing display of bias, racism, poor-grammar, and many other things, the quickest place to turn to find all of these things is a YouTube comment board underneath a video. These feelings are displayed generally any other place where people are able to anonymously post opinions on various topics.

Here are some fine examples of what you might find on YouTube:

xxRollerCash512xx said:

dud thts lame

GroGnor said:

woah I think xxRollerCash512xx is %#@! LOL :0)

WizardKid14 said:

Linux Rules

And Etc...

Brilliant. This kind of sentiment is not new however. As I have progressed through my years, I have had many opportunities to see life through the eyes of many different types of people. Something that I have realized is that with every single issue, item, or opinion to be had, there is always someone fighting for the other side. No matter what. I can't think of a single issue that doesn't likely have someone fighting against the vast majority. Here are some examples.

PT Cruisers- These mommy mobster look-a-likes have graced our streets for the past few years with the elegance of a leather boot, and the style of Al Capone if he were little league soccer coach. Ask someone who owns one why they like them, and I am not sure what they would say, because I can't see any logical argument as to why one would want to drive/own/be seen with one of these vehicular monstrosities.

Crocs Footwear- "They are so comfortable!" the proponents of this trendy shoe proclaim as their reason for adorning them. Well, if my wardrobe were decided purely by comfort, I am pretty sure I would be wearing a feather pillow with holes punched out for arms and legs. And no, that image is not distorted, that is just how they look.
Dashboard Confessional- Love him or hate him we can only know one thing for sure: He wears small T-Shirts.
Rap Music- "I listen to it for the beats" is something that you often hear from rap fans. "I listen to it for the deep, inciteful lyrics with poetically structured rhymes." Is something you never hear.

Windows/Apple/Linux- The ultimate geek battleground. Which OS will win? Well, Windows probably already did a long time ago, but that hasn't stopped Steve Jobs from biting the back of Microsoft's legs a little.

Obama- Now with "make your co-workers get into arguments" action.

Rick Astley- Though I think it is impossible for me to decide which side I am on. I hate the song, yet it gets stuck in my head, then singing ensues.

Canada- Just kidding of course. We know everyone hates them.

This leads me to my point. I realized a long time ago that whatever you do, someone will try to do it better. Whatever you wear someone will make fun of it. Whatever you say, someone will call foul. Whatever you believe, is wrong to someone else. So it really doesn't matter what others think. I don't say that in the cliche' gothic teenager sort of way either. If you were in Salem, MA when the "witches" were burned, and you said that the townspeople were mad, you would have been vastly outnumbered, and therefore "wrong".

The reason I mention this is because if you are one of those people always trying to please everyone else, I have some news for you:

You. Will. Fail.

This does not mean that you should stop trying all together. It just means that you will likely never reach your goal, and feel unfillfilled after a life of trying to meet all other people's expectations.

The moral of this story: you should tell me everything I have written here was totally lame and wrong.

Yay for opinions.

The Wayback Machine

2008-08-10T23:36:00.000-06:00

So I have to share something with you. It is a website called the Wayback Machine. They are dedicated to "taking a snapshot of the web". What this means, is that if you are curious what website looked like years ago, you can see it.

Heres how it works. You type in a URL of your choice, and the days that they took a snapshot of that page show up for you to choose. Some years they may only have 1 or 2 days saved, and in the more recent years they many times have every single day of the year saved.

I chose to first see the Apple website. As you can see it is quite archaic compared to how it looks nowadays. Very interesting. And this works with some of the most obscure sites. I tried www.tigerstrike.com which is a martial arts supplier, and they had it! Fun to play around with, and I am sure there could be some sort of of useful application, though I haven't figured it out yet.

You can try it yourself at http://www.archive.org/web/web.php

Climbing to the Top

2008-08-09T23:00:00.000-06:00

Four years have passed, and here we are. Time for the Summer Olympics once again. I noticed something as I was watching Michael Phelps win his 7th Olympic Gold Medal: I don't care that much.

I can sense the pressure, the honor that it brings to the motherland, and the amazing amount of time and effort that the athletes have put into the games. However, once I begin to drift into these kinds of thoughts, my mind suddenly snaps out of it and says they are just sports. And it is true! When all is said and done, the crying and humiliation, glory and ...more crying, are all in the name of athletics.

This is nothing new. People have been placing great importance upon sporting events for a very long time. I have never been able to "catch the fever" myself. The closest that I have ever come is during the final moments of an NBA playoff game, as they tend to be pretty intense. Though any time that I have felt these feelings, I have felt it for the athletes alone. I can picture the losers going home that night and explaining to their friends and loved ones what they felt was the reason for their failure, and the other teams success. So it confuses me as to why much of the world takes part in the rejoicing in victory, along with their country's athletes. They didn't do anything. They weren't the ones waking early in the morning to train, having no time for personal fun among schooling and their chosen sport.

Of course they enjoy it because in all likelihood, they have never done anything very noteworthy in the public eye, and like to feel like they are part of the excitement.

Why do the athletes themselves do it? By the time they are taking part of the event, are they truly doing it "for the love of the game"? I heard one announcer say, that one of the Chinese gymnasts, is quitting after the Olympics are over, as he is just in it for the medal, and will not have a chance to compete at the next Olympics in 4 years. If something is your job, even if you love it, it begins to take on a certain amount of drudgery to complete it.

I have been thinking a lot about why people do things lately. I have been reading Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer. It is about a expedition to the top of Mt. Everest in 1996 that went very badly. He recounts how he and 29 others made a summit attempt and got caught in a fierce storm with hurricane speed winds, in 100 degree below zero temperatures. There were many fatalities, and even more lives changed. Now, anyone you ask could tell you that there is an inherent risk to climbing the highest mountain on earth. So why did these people climb, knowing that they may never leave the mountain?

I suppose the answer to many of these questions is the feeling you get from accomplishing something. These moments can come at differing degrees of intensity. In fact, I got it today as I finished putting together the new desk for my office (It was hard, alright!). I can only imagine the feeling you would get knowing that you are the best in the world at something. After thinking this for a moment though, I realize once again that it is just a stupid sport.

In conclusion, I believe that in order to truly enjoy the Olympics in 2012, I will need to be competing in them. Otherwise, I believe I will get a more genuine feeling of accomplishment by putting together more desks

...unless that is an Olympic event by then.

The call of the MINI

2008-08-02T19:07:00.000-06:00

Lately there has been a disturbing trend going on at my work, MINI of Murray. We have basically had to tell people to go away.

Now, I like people. I don't have anything against people. But sometimes, just sometimes, they can be quite daft. In the past few months as all of you know, there has been an upward rise in the price of gas, and as no surprise, the sales of our MINIs have gone through the roof. Juan, one of our salespeople, sold 32 cars in the month of June! This has of course, led to their being quite a large shortage, of MINIs.

This leads me to my point. We don't have any MINIs, but if you want to order one, you can. This is what we have to tell people, and it usually evokes anger. For some reason, they believe that they should be able to walk into any MINI dealer, of which all are subsidiaries of BMW, and walk down a line of endless MINI Coopers of all colors and option availability. Now, as much as they may wish that MINIs were as available as any american brand like Chevy or Ford, they aren't. They are English. They are built in Oxford, England. They travel here on a boat. Last time I checked, cars that travelled by boat aren't as common, or cheap as one that is built next door.

As a dealer we are alloted only 480 cars A YEAR. That means that we get about 1/4 of that in cars to sit on the lot, and the rest is all made up of people who have the foresight to order one before the day they need it, and the patience to wait 2 months for a $30,000 purchase.

The small car trend is great. I think that we need more small vehicles on the road. Not because I am some huge environmentalist or anything, just because I think it ridiculous that all these humans are being pushed around by these behemoth chunks of empty cargo space, blasting through astronomical amounts of an un-renewable resource. It isn't safe. It makes me cringe every time someone says that they or their wife drive an SUV so that they "kill the other guy". They say it so calm. They are serious, but say it like a joke. Do you realize what you are saying!? That is maniacal.

I don't want to tell people that we don't have any cars for sale. I wish everyone could drive a smaller, more fun vehicle like a MINI, but for now, as America wrenches out the engrained desire for big, muddy vehicles, England will continue to take care of her own, well groomed and efficient city streets.

LEGLESS MAN IS ALSO STRONGEST, HEAVIEST MAN ON EARTH

2008-08-02T18:30:00.000-06:00

Brooklyn NY?- Today an area man defined only by his blue shirt and wheelchair found himself in a scuffle between two hardly organized gangs officials said. After investigating the scene of the crime, an empty studio alleyway used in countless other low-budget films, they were able amass a considerable amount of clues.

The man apparently had some sort of motivation to injure the other men who are reportedly "strong as pre-schoolers", and proceeded to eliminate them from the brawl by knocking them down, through unidentified methods, as any sort of physical force was shielded by slow editing.

"The methods used to cause the injuries are at this time unclear. The victims say that a small Korean/German woman and legless man were the cause, though I find this claim preposterous" said an area enforcement official who was parked nearby in his 3-wheeled meter surveillance vehicle.

Police officials aren't ruling out the involvement of Ninjas, with poorly synced, fast paced speech at this time.

A video portrayal of the event can be found here.

Tyson Call- Asian Reporter